I guess that’s not entirely true, I’m just really frustrated by all the cliffhangers. But that’s the idea, right? It seems like lots of finales are happening earlier this year than they usually do. So far we’ve said goodbye (for the summer) to New Girl, Bones, How I Met Your Mother, Hawaii Five-0, Private Practice and Suburgatory, just to name a few. And tonight, Grey’s Anatomy and The Mentalist are both wrapping up. I already know Grey’s is going to be one of the most frustrating finales ever; I’ve come to terms with this. But here’s a run-down of some of the others…
New Girl | Not surprising at all – Nick and Jess still aren’t together. I’m ok with this, though, because I get that it shouldn’t happen right away. I’m just glad Nick didn’t end up moving in with Caroline. If they had ended it with them together I may have screamed.
Parenthood never disappoints and this week was no different. Kristina is home taking care of baby Nora while Adam is busy trying to get his record studio with Crosby up and running. This leads to chaos at home – the house is a mess, dinner isn’t getting cooked, and poor Hattie has no one to read her college essay. On the other hand, Adam and Crosby got a call from Cee-Lo saying he wanted to record at their studio. Cee-Lo was unhappy with all of the takes, which caused a lot of tension between Adam and Crosby. They feared they had lost their first customer.
The other half of the family was dealing with some much deeper issues: Seth’s alcoholism and Julia and Joel’s adoption. Sarah is determined to get him help because as much as she hates Seth and what he does to their children, she knows he is family; what happens to him matters. Seth can’t get into the free rehab so she goes to her parents for money. Zeke refuses to help, so Sarah turns to Julia. Meanwhile Zeke also had quite an opinion on Julia and Joel’s adoption. He thinks it’s a terrible idea. Zeke, Camille, Sarah, Julia and Joel are eating dinner together and Joel unknowingly brings up the money to Sarah. Zeke realizes what happened and freaks out, but Joel stands up to him and says to stay out of both situations because these are decisions they’ve made as a family. Love him!
Claire decided to run for city council, leaving Phil in charge of the kids. He punched Luke in the face and gave Alex drowsy medicine when she needed to study for a test, so Claire ultimately decided she shouldn’t leave him alone with the kids. Hayley also managed to lose $900 of other people’s money who had paid for fake IDs, but Jay was determined to help her out of the pickle (more on that in a minute) Mitch and Cam got into a fight about Cam’s aggressiveness, such as getting into fights with other fathers in movie theaters and trying to chase down hit and run drivers. Mitch ended up being the aggressive one, though, when he went with Jay, Phil and Cam to get Hayley’s $900 back.
The roomies had a wedding to attend, so Jess posed as Nick’s girlfriend since Caroline was going to be there. Jess and Nick succeeded in making Caroline jealous, which then caused Caroline to flirt with him incessantly. Nick fell back under her spell until he found out she has a new boyfriend, leading him to spend the rest of the evening sulking in the photo booth. Schmidt always ends up hooking up with Gretchen at weddings, despite the fact that they hate each other. He attempted to hook up with Brooke by pretending to be a recovering alcoholic, but that didn’t work out and he ultimately ended up with Gretchen. Winston was the usher at the wedding, but since he was a little late, the alternate usher showed up. He happened to be a child, and very feisty one at that. By the end of the night, Jess had peptalked Nick out of the photo booth and the four of them did the chicken dance to a slow song, which was a very entertaining sight.
Favorite quotes from this episode:
“I really just want to get in there and ush this wedding in the face.” – Winston
“We’re not trying to be mean, we just don’t want you to be yourself. In any way.” – Schmidt
“I’m gonna need you to put vodka in a water bottle, and then rendezvous with me in the restroom, ok?” – Schmidt
Jess: “Your head is shaped like a yam.” Nick: “Yeah I know, I can’t wear soft hats.”
Barney spent the entire episode trying to see and/or feel Lily’s pregnancy boobs. After some trickery on everyone’s parts, Barney got a glimpse but not a feel. Ted told the gang about running into Victoria at the Architect’s Ball. Turns out she’s engaged to Claus, a man she started dating very soon after she and Ted broke up. She also told Ted that the reason none of his relationships have worked out is because he has leftover feelings for Robin and it’s not helpful that he sees her every day, along with her other ex, Barney. He admitted in his voiceover that he is still hung up on her, so I’m interested to see if a) he cuts all ties with her (doubtful), or b) my theory about Robin being the mother was right all along.
Last season, HIMYM ended with the pretty shocking revelation that Barney is getting married. Of course, in keeping with the secretive theme of the show, we’re most likely not going to find out who he’s marring until the end of the season.
Tonight’s hour-long (or rather, two half-hours back to back) premiere picked up at Barney’s wedding and immediately flashed back to “the worst wedding” the gang has ever been to. It turns out Ted gave speeches at several of his friends’ weddings, but they always happened to fall at bad times in his life. Thus, he was always a crybaby mess during his speeches. Punchy, his high school friend whose wedding he is now getting ready to speak at, posted all the videos online and was hoping he would break down at his wedding as well. More on that in a minute.