This Week on TV

New Girl: “Wedding”

The roomies had a wedding to attend, so Jess posed as Nick’s girlfriend since Caroline was going to be there. Jess and Nick succeeded in making Caroline jealous, which then caused Caroline to flirt with him incessantly. Nick fell back under her spell until he found out she has a new boyfriend, leading him to spend the rest of the evening sulking in the photo booth. Schmidt always ends up hooking up with Gretchen at weddings, despite the fact that they hate each other. He attempted to hook up with Brooke by pretending to be a recovering alcoholic, but that didn’t work out and he ultimately ended up with Gretchen. Winston was the usher at the wedding, but since he was a little late, the alternate usher showed up. He happened to be a child, and very feisty one at that. By the end of the night, Jess had peptalked Nick out of the photo booth and the four of them did the chicken dance to a slow song, which was a very entertaining sight.

Favorite quotes from this episode:

  • “I really just want to get in there and ush this wedding in the face.” – Winston
  • “We’re not trying to be mean, we just don’t want you to be yourself. In any way.” – Schmidt
  • “I’m gonna need you to put vodka in a water bottle, and then rendezvous with me in the restroom, ok?” – Schmidt
  • Jess: “Your head is shaped like a yam.”  Nick: “Yeah I know, I can’t wear soft hats.”

Modern Family: “Door to Door”

Cam left the kitchen a mess after making crepes one morning, which drove Mitch crazy. When it still wasn’t clean after he got home from work, he called Cam who said he would clean it as soon as he got back from looking for Stella with Gloria. He was assuming Mitch wouldn’t be able to wait and was very surprised to find it still messy when he did get home. Seeing that he was right, Mitch went on a mess-making frenzy – throwing pillows, spilling cereal and putting whipped cream in Lily’s hair. Of course this happened just as the adoption agency lady showed up at their door.

Gloria accidently let Stella out of the gate so she and Cam had to search for her. While this was happening, Jay was teaching Manny a lesson of salesmanship by making him go door to door to sell wrapping paper for school. After nearly killing her husband, Claire decided to start a petition to add a stop sign at a dangerous intersection. She took her signatures to the traffic committee meeting, which was lead by guest star David Cross. It was his birthday and he was angry he didn’t get ice cream cake. The whole Dunphy family showed up to help Claire get her petition looked at – Phil and Luke even made a ridiculous video.

Suburgatory: “The Barbeque”

George and Tessa have been avoiding Sheila’s invitations to dinner, but this week she finally pinned them down. After dinner, Ryan’s friends came over and played truth or dare in the basement, resulting in the first of many make-out sessions between Ryan and Tessa. Eventually she decided he was too stupid for her and ended their tryst. Sheila and her husband, played by Chris Parnell, told George that he needs to host a BBQ for the neighborhood before he gets shunned. Noah agreed – he loaned him his mega grill and even set up the evite. Lisa was annoyed with Tessa for making out with her idiot brother, but surely they will have made up by next week’s episode.

Up All Night: “New Car”

After struggling to load Reagan’s convertible for a beach trip, Chris decided they needed a more family friendly car. They got drunk and won an A-Team style van on eBay, so they took it to the dealership and looked at a boring beige mommy car to trade it for. Chris got the car in black and added a decal to the side to make it cooler for Reagan since she was sad about giving up her convertible.

Ava was upset because she was on a list of celebrity dropouts in a tabloid magazine. Deciding that her show needed more “gravitas,” she attempted to read a book about the American economy in preparation for the author being on her show. It was too boring for her, so Chris offered to help her study since he read the book already. Somehow she was able to say something coherent when the author was on the show before changing the topic to talk about how he was bullied as a child.

How I Met Your Mother: “The Stinson Missile Crisis”

This week’s episode was the first to feature guest star Kal Penn as Robin’s court-appointed therapist. Instead of coming right out and telling him who she assaulted, she spent her entire session telling stories about Marshall and Lily that were completely irrelevant. Basically, Ted was super serious about their pregnancy and tried to be more involved than Lily wanted him to be. After attending a birthing class with Marshall, Ted decided he would back off a little.

Barney, still serious about Nora, sent gifts to her work every day – much to Robin’s annoyance. He sent her flowers, chocolates and balloons before showing up himself to sing her a song. Robin volunteered Nora to go to France to cover a story in the hopes that she could win Barney back. Instead she helped him cancel all of his ongoing plays to get women to sleep with him. A woman showed up at McClaren’s looking for Barney so Robin sent her to the restaurant he was having dinner at with Nora, but she felt guilty and assaulted her to keep her from ruining the date. So far, Barney doesn’t know it happened.


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