True Blood Season Finale: “And When I Die”

Warning: LOTS of spoilers!

I think the finale can be summarized in just three letters: OMG. Don’t worry though, I’ll elaborate.

The episode started with Jesus cooking breakfast for Lafayette and apologizing for all of the chaos caused by their witchcraft. It took him awhile to realize Lafayette wasn’t himself, but instead it was Marnie in his body. Unfortunately he didn’t figure it out fast enough – Marnayette stabbed him in the hand with a fork, then tied him to a chair and proceeded to threaten him for his magic. Jesus was begging and pleading for Lafayette to overpower Marnie, which happened for all of three seconds. He had one of the funny lines of the night when he said “You can’t trade magic like f—in’ Pokémon cards!” He was insisting his didn’t know how to give Marnayette his magic but quickly gave it a shot when she started cutting Lafayette’s body. Jesus chanted his brujo spell until his head turned into a bull (I’ll always find that creepy) and then Marnayette stabbed him and licked the blood off the knife, causing her head to turn into a bull as well. More on the results of Jesus’ death later.

After a brief – and normal! – conversation with Tara over coffee, Sookie went to Merlotte’s and saw Arlene and Terry in their zombie Halloween costumes. (Side note: I loved Lisa’s Teen Mom 2 Halloween costume!) After learning about Tommy’s death, Sookie went to pay her respects to Sam and got her job back as well. It took Sam a little while to figure out that it was Tommy who fired her, but he decided not to fill her in on the skin walking details. In the spirit of Halloween, Sookie donned some bunny ears and got right to work. Her first customer? Alcide, of course! He told her that he and Debbie broke up and asked if she remembers the conversation they had when Sookie said if she was smart she would’ve fallen in love with someone like him. She asked him not to go there, but he insisted that she at least think about what he’s saying and try not to get herself killed. He got a phone call and left.

Alcide went to a parking garage where he quickly figured out the construction worker (I think?) had been glamoured. He walked over to a giant hole, picked up silver chains and seemed completely aware of what was happening. I think I’m the only person who didn’t figure it out right away, but apparently it was Russell Edgington who was buried there. I guess if anyone can survive being buried in cement it’s Russell.

While Alcide was dealing with that, Sookie had a conversation with Holly about the witch’s new year (aka, Halloween). Tara drove up in a panic saying Marnie is back and Jesus is dead (I’m so glad she made the connection that it had to be Marnie). They realized Marnayette must’ve already gotten to Eric and Bill when Sookie couldn’t get a hold of either of them. They rushed over to Bill’s house with their witch’s first aid kit in hand and found them tied together to a stake that was ready to burn. Holly made a protective circle of salt and the three of them began chanting their spell while Eric and Bill burned. Their spell pulled a ton of dead spirits, including Gran and Antonia. Sookie managed to use her glowing hands to force Marnie out of Lafayette’s body, allowing Antonia and Gran to reason with her. They told her that crossing over would bring her peace, which is something vampires would never have since they never die. Surprisingly that worked, and off Marnie went! Sookie begged Gran not to leave, but Gran said she had to. Sookie said she’s lost without her, to which Gran assured her the answer has always been in her heart and there’s nothing wrong with being alone.

Eric hasn’t lost his wit – while Sookie was distracted by Gran and Tara was distracted with Lafayette, Eric said “Excuse me, we’re feeling a little crispy up here.” Back at Bill’s, Sookie had one vampire – in matching robes, might I add – on each wrist refueling and healing their burns. Sookie finally addressed the love triangle they have by saying she can’t do it anymore. Bill, being the gentleman that he is, told her that all he wants is for her to be happy and if that’s with Eric then they have his blessing. Eric took this permission and tried to run with it, but that wasn’t happening. Sookie told Bill that she believed he always loved her and she forgave him for lying to her. He told her she’s the love of his life, to which she said “I know, which only makes this harder.” She then went to Eric and told him that it wasn’t just Amnesia Eric that she loved, she knew that deep down she always had feelings for him. She told him what they had was real but that it’s over now. She took Gran’s advice and decided to be alone. Not gonna lie, I was kind of disappointed with that. But at the same time, I don’t know who I would’ve wanted her to pick.

Later on, Bill and Eric were out of their robes and back in their regular clothes when Nan showed up. Again, Eric brought his wit saying “Hello Nan…and gay stormtroopers.” Nan told them she quit the AVL and the authority (in actuality she got fired) and her last job was to kill Eric and Bill. Instead she told them she’s going rogue and wants them to join her, along with their fairy. She called them puppy dogs, which they did not take well. Eric decapitated her gay stormtroopers and Bill staked Nan. Eric summed it up great with “What a bitch” as he stood over her pile of goo. That’s one casualty of the season that I’m beyond elated about!

Back at Chez Stackhouse, Lafayette was laying in bed crying about how he killed the man he loves. Tara assured him he didn’t do it because he wasn’t himself. She promised him they would make it though this together just like they make it through everything else. Later on, Ghost Jesus visited Lafayette and told him he’s ok with what happened. Lafayette asked how he’s supposed to live with the fact that he killed him, and Jesus told him to just keep breathing.

After the double blood drinking party at Bill’s, Sookie went home and called out to see if Tara was still awake. She then heard a sound behind her and turned around to see Debbie with a shotgun pointed at her. Tara walked in just as this was happening and jumped to push Sookie out of the way at the exact moment Debbie shot. Tara was shot in the head and fell to the ground while Sookie tackled Debbie, took her gun from her and shot her under the chin. She then went and held Tara while crying out for someone to help her. Of course this is where the episode ended, but I’m thinking that someone had to hear Sookie. Bill and Eric had to sense her fear, and Lafayette must’ve heard the gunshots from upstairs. I must say it seems pretty clear that Tara is dead, but as evidenced by the revival of Russell Edgington, we can never be certain someone’s dead. Still, though, I’m pretty certain.

Anyway, while all of that was going on, the Jason-Hoyt-Jessica situation was really taking off! Jason went to talk to Hoyt while he was cutting down a tree (thankfully he told Hoyt to put the chainsaw down). He told Hoyt that he slept with Jessica, which Hoyt didn’t believe at first. Jason said he wished he was kidding, but he wasn’t. Hoyt asked how he could do that, but in true Jason form he thought Hoyt was asking how they had sex. He started listing the positions when Hoyt punched him in the face. A few punches later Jason was on the ground and Hoyt kicked him. He told him they would never have what he and Jessica had because there wasn’t something missing in Jason. He literally and figuratively kicked him while he was down.

Later that night, Jessica showed up at Jason’s door dressed as a lingerie-clad Little Red Riding Hood. Jason was icing his face with a popsicle, which he promptly began to eat. Jessica asked him to invite her in, and they proceeded to have sex on his couch. She told him she doesn’t want to be his girlfriend because she just got out of a relationship and wasn’t ready for another one. Jason said he wished she had told him that before he got his ass kicked for her, but he also said he would’ve told Hoyt anyway because it was the right thing to do. Jason was offended when Jessica asked him since when does he care about doing the right thing. He said she doesn’t know him very well and she agreed, but she hoped that for now the sex was enough because she doesn’t want it to stop. Of course Jason agreed and they got back to business. When Jessica was getting ready to leave he asked if she wasn’t spending the night because something was missing inside him. She said no – he’s funny, exciting and has the sexiest hipbones she’s ever seen (fact!), but she’s hungry and isn’t ready to drink his blood because it’s too intimate. Jason said he understood, comparing her to prostitute who doesn’t kiss her clients. He also told her she’s not like any other woman he’s been with, and he’s been with a lot. She must really be the girl for him because she took that as the compliment he meant for it to be.

Immediately after Jessica left, there was a knock at Jason’s door. He assumed she was back for more and answered the door completely naked. I, on the other hand, was certain it was Hoyt back for more beating. We were both wrong. I never would’ve guessed in a million years that it would be Steve Newlin, but it was! Shocked, Jason said “Reverend Newlin?” to which he responded “Trick or treat” as his fangs popped out. I think my jaw hit the floor – the thought that Reverend Newlin, Mr. Fellowship of the Sun himself, could come back as a vampire never once crossed my mind. That sure is an interesting twist for season 5.

Back to Sam for a minute – Maxine Fortenberry showed up at Tommy’s funeral saying he was devious but she knew he had a good heart. She told Sam about how he stole her clothes, and Sam said no one ever taught him how to love people without hurting them. Maxine pointed how that probably no one taught that to Sam either, but everyone does the best they can with what they’ve got. I’ve never liked Maxine, but I’ll admit that was a sweet moment. Of course she made it weird by saying Sam should call her Mama from now on since they’re the only family they have left. Maxine left and Luna and Emma showed up. I hope everything works out with them because they make a cute family.

You may have heard awhile ago that Scott Foley would be appearing on the finale, and appear he did! He was only there for a quick second, but based on what happened I imagine it’s going to be interesting next season. He plays Terry’s friend from the military who Terry thought was dead. The two of them went to the bar to have a drink while Arlene went out back to take out the trash. Outside she saw a ghost of Rene (her psycho ex-fiance in case you forgot). If you’re keeping count, that’s two major characters from the past who made an appearance this week, and an allusion to one more! Rene basically told her that Terry’s friend is only going to bring trouble and that she should run. Guess we’ll see if that’s true in season 5!

Andy Bellefleur, who I’ve pretty much hated all season, really redeemed himself in my eyes this week. He brought Holly some flowers and told her she could keep them this time. She told him she wasn’t in the mood for a date, and he said that’s fine. He told her “I just wanted to say that I’m sober, and I’m lonely, and I can be good to someone if they let me” to which she responded with a hug. Maybe it’s because he’s been on V all season, but he seemed so normal and sweet that I dare say I like him! I hope his storylines are less detrimental next season.

And finally, Pam. The fight between her and Eric from last week wasn’t resolved, and when she couldn’t find her maker she had a breakdown. When Ginger, the human at Fangtasia, told her that Sookie called looking for Eric too, Pam said “I am so over Sookie and her precious fairy vagina and her unbelievably stupid name. F— Sookie!” Ginger wasn’t deterred when Pam told her not to touch her, and ultimately Pam accepted her hug. Based on the fact that Eric refused to summon Pam when he was trapped by Marnayette for fear of putting her in danger, I don’t think he actually hates her. They’ll be fine.

So, let’s discuss the deaths! Jesus, Nan, Tara and Debbie are all gone (in theory). Alan Ball stayed true to his promise of killing off a handful of the main cast, but he also brought back a couple old ones. I’ve heard several ideas about what could happen with Tara. Maybe vampire blood will save her? Or maybe someone will turn her into a vampire? Or maybe she wasn’t really shot (that one is highly unlikely). What did you think of the finale, and what do you think will happen next season?

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